Understanding Motivation
Change is rarely simple. Most people know what they “should” do — exercise more, cut down on scrolling, set boundaries, or seek help — but knowing doesn’t always lead to doing. That’s because real change often involves ambivalence: wanting to change and not wanting to change at the same time.
Motivational Interviewing (MI) is a counselling approach designed to help people resolve that ambivalence. Instead of persuading, lecturing, or giving advice, MI helps people discover their own reasons for change — reasons rooted in their values, goals, and hopes for the future.
Conversations That Inspire Change
At its heart, MI is about having conversations that spark insight and motivation.
Rather than convincing someone to change, the goal is to create a safe space where people can talk themselves into it.
In MI, change doesn’t come from pressure — it comes from autonomy and reflection. When clients begin to articulate what matters most to them, they often start finding their own motivation to move forward. “People are more likely to be persuaded by what they hear themselves say.”
Accepting Ambivalence as Normal
Feeling torn is not resistance — it’s part of being human. MI views ambivalence as a natural stage in the change process. The role of the helper is to explore both sides with empathy and curiosity, not to argue or push. This approach helps people move from “I can’t” to “Maybe I could” — a small but powerful shift that opens the door to lasting change.
The Four Processes of MI
Motivational Interviewing follows a natural rhythm made up of four overlapping processes: engaging, focusing, evoking, and planning. It begins with engaging — building a foundation of trust and understanding through genuine curiosity. Once a connection is established, the conversation moves into focusing, where both the client and helper clarify what direction or goal feels most important right now. From there comes evoking, the heart of MI, where the person’s own reasons, hopes, and motivations for change are drawn out. Finally, the process moves into planning — supporting commitment and helping the person identify small, realistic steps toward their goal. Together, these stages create a respectful, collaborative flow that turns conversation into meaningful action.
Listening That Heals
One of the most powerful tools in MI is reflective listening — making a thoughtful guess about what the person means and saying it back with care. Instead of telling people what to do, we help them hear themselves more clearly.
This kind of listening builds trust, safety, and insight. Over time, clients begin to notice the gap between what they’re doing and what they truly value — and that awareness is where change begins.
The Spirit of MI
Motivational Interviewing isn’t just a set of techniques — it’s a way of being in conversation. It’s guided by four principles:
Collaboration: working with people rather than on them
Acceptance: respecting autonomy and choice
Compassion: genuinely caring for the person’s wellbeing
Evocation: drawing out strengths and motivation that already exist
When people feel respected instead of judged, they open up — and that’s when real change starts.
Focusing on Strengths
MI emphasizes what’s already working, not just what’s going wrong.
Simple affirmations like “You really showed up for yourself this week” can rebuild confidence and hope. When people feel capable, they start seeing new possibilities for change.
“Change becomes possible when people begin to believe they can.”
From “Should” to “Want”
Many people know what they should do, but lasting change happens when they connect it to what they truly want. MI helps people align change with their personal values — such as health, family, balance, or freedom — making motivation internal rather than external.
When change feels personally meaningful, it’s more likely to stick.
Core Skills That Make MI Work
MI conversations often use the OARS framework — a simple yet powerful set of communication tools:
Open-ended questions: invite reflection (“What matters most to you about this?”)
Affirmations: highlight strengths (“You’ve worked really hard on this.”)
Reflections: show understanding (“You’re feeling unsure, but also hopeful.”)
Summaries: pull ideas together and reinforce progress
These skills help create conversations that are not only supportive, but transformative.
The Heart of Change
Motivational Interviewing helps people change not through pressure, but through partnership, empathy, and curiosity.
When people feel heard, respected, and empowered to make their own choices, they are far more likely to take meaningful, lasting steps forward.
MI reminds us that the motivation to change is already within each person — our role is simply to help them find it.
Final Thought
Whether the goal is reducing screen time, improving health, or making lifestyle changes, the spark for change always begins within.
Motivational Interviewing helps people rediscover that spark — reconnecting them with their values, strengths, and sense of possibility.
One genuine, respectful conversation at a time, change becomes not something we push — but something people choose.
This article was authored by Alex Choi, a verified therapist in our network. Learn more about their expertise and approach below.
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This insight comes from Stellocare, Canada’s trusted network of verified mental health professionals. Connect with our therapists today by asking our AI, browsing our list, or requesting a personal match from our social worker.
