Therapy for relational trauma

Specialized Public Programs (OHIP/MSP)

Women's College Hospital - Trauma Therapy Program (Toronto/Ontario)
This is widely considered the leading public program for relational trauma. They offer the "Women Recovering from Abuse Program (WRAP)" and mixed-gender groups that focus specifically on "Interpersonal" trauma—healing the ability to trust and relate to others after childhood or adult abuse.

Community Agencies (Non-Profit)

Moving Forward Family Services (National/BC)
A registered non-profit offering "low-barrier" counseling. They have a mandate to serve those with "Family Conflict" and relationship issues who cannot afford private therapy. They offer supervised counseling focused on breaking cycles of relational stress.

Relationship Repair & Safety

YWCA - "Choices for Living" (Toronto)
A free community group for women and gender-diverse people. Unlike a crisis shelter, this program is for the "aftermath"—learning assertiveness, boundary setting, and how to have healthy relationships after experiencing coercive control.

Family Service Agencies (National Network)
Agencies like Family Service Toronto or Family Service Regina are the primary community hubs for "Relational Counselling." They offer sliding-scale therapy specifically for couples and families to address betrayal, conflict, and attachment injuries.

Understanding your attachment patterns

• Track patterns: Notice when you feel anxious, when you withdraw, and what triggers these reactions. Awareness helps you understand your automatic responses.
• Identify core wounds: Write down beliefs formed in childhood such as feeling unworthy or unsafe in relationships. Naming them helps you question them.
• Notice nervous system states: Pay attention to when you feel activated, shut down, or calm. These states often reflect old attachment strategies.
• Reflect on early relationships: Consider how caregivers responded to you and what you learned about trust, safety, and worthiness.

Building secure internal attachment

• Practice self-reparenting: Offer yourself comfort and reassurance in moments of distress, as a caring caregiver would.
• Use self-soothing tools: Try grounding, gentle movement, or sensory cues to help regulate intense emotions.
• Challenge critical voices: Replace harsh inner talk with compassionate responses that support growth.
• Strengthen self-trust: Keep small commitments to yourself to build a sense of reliability and safety within.

Practicing healthier relationship patterns

• Pause before reacting: When activated, take a moment to ground and ask if the reaction belongs to the present or to the past.
• Introduce vulnerability slowly: Share small truths or tolerate small amounts of space based on your attachment type.
• Express needs clearly: Communicate what helps you feel connected or what space you require for regulation.
• Repair after conflict: Initiate reconnection, offer apologies when needed, and practice returning to safety together.

Working with specific attachment styles

• Anxious attachment: Practice calming skills, create predictable connection rituals, and build interests outside the relationship.
• Avoidant attachment: Stay present with emotions, take small emotional risks, and gently challenge fears of closeness.
• Disorganized attachment: Name conflicting urges for closeness and distance, allowing both experiences to exist without pressure.
• Move toward secure attachment: Seek relationships where you feel understood, supported, and emotionally safe.